He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
