week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
