$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
