Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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