I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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