Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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