guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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