eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize