My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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