I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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