Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
