i think i have two assholes
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
