I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
