I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize