I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
bring money and cleavage
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize