not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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