Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
