Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
