Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
