well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
