writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
