i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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