he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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