i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
