I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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