Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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