If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
fuck your aforementioned shoe
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
