i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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