Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just want to make out with him forever
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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