Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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