The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
