PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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