I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
