you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize