Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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