pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
