she was so not down for the gang bang
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize