I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just pee around me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize