"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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