Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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