dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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