I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
