you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
