Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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