There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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