your parents love me but you hate me
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
