Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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