if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
