I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize