guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
how do you play pong handcuffed?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
