I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize