but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
