I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
