I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
only you would photoshop your dick
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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