laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize