Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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