I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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