Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
