I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize