Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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