Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
