hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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