you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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