You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
