Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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