Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
